Broken Umbrellas and Broken Promises

The broken umbrella. What a common sight it is. Now I wonder how many of you have purchased an umbrella with the belief that when there is a spot of rain it will provide cover? Its original function was to shade the user from the Italian sun as a parasol. But later its other function took over. So. There is rain. I am sans umbrella. I make a hasty purchase in a well-known discount store (it could be any). Hey presto, I open it, and it covers me. So far so good. You already know where this is going I suspect. Since we seem to be in the Northern hemisphere's monsoon season, they call it, Summer, I needed the umbrella almost everytime I set foot outside. Now, it worked well when there was just rain, but when the wind picked up. Snap, and then the thing took on the look of a crow with a broken wing. Here I had to make a choice, the umbrella could with one of its ribs apart, still function, but it made me look more like a bum than usual. I continued to use it. Damn society that is what I say, I paid for it, didn't I, I will use it until its dying days - which occurred the very next day. The umbrella was no longer an umbrella. I thought more about what happened. You see what it boiled down to was that I got what I paid for. The umbrella would last only three days max. in windy weather. Who cares if the umbrella is cheap? Well I do. It is a rum way to do business. Why don't they warn the consumer? Call it a temp. umbrella. Maybe a crapella. These crapellae are manufactured in China. Now I do not think for one moment that China is to blame, because they manufacture quality goods too. It is the shops to blame. They do not give a damn. They do not test the goods. They know that if a customer comes back - they will happily replace the crapella. However, few come back, especially if it is raining. Few retain the receipts. Many are simply embarrassed. Who wants to bring a broken crapella back? A wet soggy detestable thing. Who would alternatively have the know-how of being able to repair it? Will it like the broken wing of a crow need a splint? A bandage? No. It is very difficult to fix it. I have tried, believe me, and the results put me further down the rungs of society -- the cheap bastard class. I think it needs a Ludwig Wittgenstein to engineer an umbrella (a crapella) that can stand all that Rear Admiral Beaufort can throw at it. I am thinking that a mint could be made by creating cheap rib attachers - flexi-rib kits can be bought from the Oblomov catalogue. It would be like the bicycle puncture kit. Simple. Really? Anyway, the thought of a fixed crapella has me smiling. Imagine the scene of some poor consumer being soaked after a crapella has decided on a new origami configuration - then here I come. Three snaps and the flexi-rib is in place. "I am singing in the rain...."